The Day Moray Turned Blue
At 3 am my phone wis buzzing,beeping and buzzing. I use it as my alarm and couldna believe it was time up already. As i stared into a light a thoosand times brighter than the sun the screen came into focus and i could see the messages. ‘SNP lose Moray.’ ‘Tory Win’. ‘Oh dear that’s not good,is this a nightmare?’ i thought. As an SNP fan i was very disappointed, but still tired and up at 6 for work. So i pulled the duvet up roond ma neck and went back tae sleep to dream. I could see Theresa May flying over Moray laughing that way she does , like shes swallowing a big fish whole penguin style. Tory Stormtroopers were loading SNP supporters on tae massive transport spaceships and shipping them tae… Alderaan,or maybe just to huge holding tanks full of grumbling angry fowk. Held there and forced to listen to Boris Johnson mumbling about cricket and foxhunting.
What felt like 5 mins later my alarm went off for real. Doon and got ma coffee, sweet sweet coffee nectar of the gods. Turned on the telly to see lots and lots of doom and gloom from everywhere in the UK, not just Moray. No one has a majority, the PM is a lame duck, Torys Down Labour Up SNP down, no actual winner on the night ,came the headlines. Load up facebook and twitter and there are fowk moaning about how the election panned oot. A few Torys feeling smug but only a few.
I run a wee facebook page that likes to make fun of daily life in Moray, but theres nothing fun about the current mood permeating off the screen of the laptop. Yet either everyone offline voted Tory, or there are a lot of lurkers, ie Tory voters keeping quiet, maybe so they don’t have to get into arguments with some of the demented SNP soldiers of misfortune.
So why has Moray abandoned the once bright yellow slogans of hope that the SNP stood for, Independence,fighting for Scotland, Equality, free Moray Cup for all. Ok maybe not the last one. Ive no idea i’m no political analyst but talking to my small group of actual real life friends, none of whom declared a vote for the Torys. We are of the mind that fowk were fed up with referendums, fed up with more voting, more division, and fear of things getting worse. A change for something better was needed, and the older fowk in Moray really like Douglas Ross the Tory candidate. He turned up at every local problem to point at potholes in roads,shops closing,shops nae closing, teens that needed haircuts, his concerned face was what the older generation needed. ‘Wifies at a local charity shop told me ‘If ye had a problem Mr Ross would turn up and say he would do something about it and i believe him, that Angus was just swanning aboot in London nae worried aboot oor wee toon’. So the reason Moray is feeling blue this morning comes down to pointing at potholes and making the old fowk feel like you are their champion. How interested Theresa May will be in fixing Lhanbrydes derelict pub is another matter.Also once Mr Ross starts swanning about the bright lights of London, will he be as quick to come up here to sort oot dog mess bags stuck in trees near a bus stop in Forres. As you can tell from this article i’m still finding it hard to find anything funny about Moray at the moment.
As the song from Eiffel 65 goes….
Yo listen up here’s a story
About a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue
Like him inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window I’m blue da ba dee da ba daa Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa..