The Football Gods have forsaken Scotland
A Scottish Shaman has put forward measures to improve the amount of joy allocated to Scottish Fitba by omnipotent celestial beings. As Scotland fans watched their team go ahead against England, the hourglass of joy was already running out.
Highland Shaman Sym Evenki tuned into the gods and a spirit messenger in the shape of a hedgehog told him ‘ You mortal fitba fools have used up all your joy years ago, there was only 3 mins left in the glass, once joy runs out you have at least 3 years of despair before the glass is full of joy again.’ Now Sym is burning effigies of fitba’s, Tory Mps, posters of David Beckham, empty bottles of Irn Bru anything he can to appease the Gods and hopefully find some Joy for Scottish Fitba.
‘The gods hate Scotland right now that’s for sure, but i will be doing everything to change our fortunes.’ Dancing round midnight fires smoking funny fags will help hurry up Gordon Strachans resignation he explained.