Food and Drink Shortage Causes Mass Panic Buying Across Moray
“DO NOT PANIC, THERE IS ENOUGH MORAY CUP FOR EVERY FAMILY IN MORAY” this was the announcement coming from loudspeakers across Elgin and the shire today in a bid to quell the out of control buying of family larder staples Moray Cup and Macaroni Pies. Stories in national papers that the troubled Cott Beverages had received complaints about Mac B waters causing illness and having a bad smell. Meant that with Moray Cup being made in the same factory then it too could run out, or even …. be poured doon the drain!!!
As if this catastrophe wasn’t enough. Cooks,Grannies and meal planners across the shire had fainting fits of despair as it was confirmed the extreme hot weather in Europe had decimated Macaroni fields across Italy. The cheesy pasta filling for oor favourite pies will run oot on Saturday. 10 minutes after the first tweet of #MacaroniMorayCupPerfectStorm hit the interwebs facebook servers reached meltdown. Angry keyboard warrior consumers filled the iclouds with fuming rants about empty pastry shells and unpalatable chippy suppers, noo they could actually taste them with out the nullifying effect of Moray Cup on the taste buds.
Soon Elgins Moray Cup Macaroni Pie superstore was full to the gunnels of desperate shoppers emptying the shelves of all stock.As scuffles and arguments broke out the store was forced to close. A baying mob of Macaroni Pie addicts were hosed down by police and dispersed towards Asda which at time of press was already down to twa wee bottles o Moray cup and a Curry Pie.
As the army took control of corner shops and bakers across the shire a chippy supper pastry curfew has been imposed,anyone wanting soft drinks or round pastry treats must purchase them between the hours of 1pm and 2 pm and have the appropriate ration card stamped by the cooncil.