A Buckie Mither Had 3 Virgin Daughters
A Buckie Mither had 3 virgin daughters, ‘aye really’. They were a getting merried within a short time period. Because the Mither was a wee bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them a promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon wi a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first Quine sent a card fae Grannys Heilan Hame two days efter the wedding. The card said nothing but “Nescafe.” The Mither was puzzled at first, but then went tae the kitchen and got oot the Nescafe jar. It said: “Good till the last drop.” The Mither blushed, but was pleased for her Quine.
The second Quine sent the card fae Flamingo Land a week efter the wedding, and the card read: “Benson&Hedges”. The Mither now knew to go straight to her husband’s fags, and she read from the Benson&Hedges pack: “Extra Long King Size.” She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her Quine.
The third Quine left for her honeymoon in Nairn holiday capital of the Morayshire coast. The Mither waited for a week, nothin. Another week went by and still nothin. Then efter a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words: “British Airways”. The Mither took oot her latest P n J magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for the airline. The ad said: “Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways.”